C&E at St. Marks

by Andrew lamprea’24

The C&E Department at St. Marks has been a point of contention over the past couple of years. Some believe that the department is too pervasive in student life. Others believe the opposite, that the department does not do enough to be an effective body. The point of this article is to, objectively, give information regarding how some members of the student body feel about the department. The selection of students represents a multitude of St. Marks experiences, and gives a wide variety of backgrounds to hopefully reflect how different facets of the community think. This article should serve as well to give insight into the intersectionality of these sects of the student body, showing exactly where we agree and disagree on this topic. The selection includes Diane Kwon, a passionate liberal and one of the student leaders of SM Politics. Her repertoire of C&E experience includes being a former pathways prefect, and one of the most prominent speakers on politics in the current senior class. Ezio Salimbeni is another prominent figure in the political circles of the school, standing on the other side of the ideological spectrum from Diane. He is one of the current leaders of the conservative club. Brendan Kelly is a current pathways prefect, and represents the more moderate breed of liberal within the student body. They give a compelling insight into the student aspect of the C&E office, as they currently work with them. Finally, we have Jeamilett Martinez, an avid critic of some of the more unsavory aspects of the school community, and co-leader of the Native American affinity group. Additionally, Rick DaSilva gave a compelling recount of his experience as C&E head over the past year and a half, and what it has meant to him. Noticeably, all of these candidates are VIth formers, chosen because they have had around an equal amount of experience with the C&E office before and after its major changes in the past years. 

The questions I asked these students were as follows: What do you think is the biggest success of the C&E office? What about the biggest area for improvement? What, in your opinion, is the role of the C&E Department in the St. Marks Community? The students would have many different nuances to their answers, but also some common connections in their sentiments. 

What do you think is the biggest success of the C&E office? What about the biggest area for improvement?

According to Diane, the biggest successes of the C&E office have happened in years prior. She thinks that this year especially, there has been a noticeable lack of communication between the office, and the students who are in a position to help them. She hopes to see the office improve on this failing in the future.

Ezio states that he does not see the effects of the C&E office very much from his point of view. He said, “I cannot name a biggest success or area of improvement from the C&E office, because honestly, I don’t know any effects they've had on the community at all”. 

Countering Ezio’s criticism, Brendan explains that the biggest success of the department is normalizing having difficult discussions, and constructive discourse about current events that benefit any student who wants to learn. However, they also explain that “As an office, we are shooting too big right now. We need to stop treating symptoms, and start treating the roots of the issues we see here at the school.”

Jeamillett agrees with Ezio and Diane, saying that she wished the C&E department would address the actual issues in the school community. She thinks that the Office simply doesn't do enough to make an impact on student’s lives. She thinks they should have more community oriented events in the future. Her idea of a biggest success so far is the Wednesday morning talks done by Mr. DaSilva, though she notes that that policy does has some flaws.

What, in your opinion, is the role of the C&E Department in the St. Marks Community?

Diane thinks the C&E department should fit the role of a DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion) figure of authority within the community. She thinks that the office served more of a purpose in years prior when this was its priority, and thinks the office’s new priorities leave some members of the community who relied on that DEI role vulnerable and without a real voice in the community. 

Ezio sharply criticizes the C&E office and its role. He believes the C&E office serves a rather performative role. Its policies often do not accomplish a meaningful amount for the vast majority of the student body, but rather serve as bragging points for the school to say they are addressing the issues in the student body.

In contrast, Brendan believes that the C&E office should serve the role of educators for the student population. They would state that “I don't know how the rest of the school sees us, but I for one think we do serve that purpose”.

Similar to Brendan’s words about serving the community, Jeamilett believes the role of the office is to introduce communication and collaboration in the community, bringing the grades together. She thinks communication is the key to a healthy community. 

In addition to the student perspective, Rick DaSilva, our current C&E head was also interviewed. Mr. DaSilva thinks that the C&E office has gone through a number of necessary changes in the past year and a half, with the eventual goal of completely transforming the office from its role in years prior. In contrast to Diane’s opinion, he thinks the responsibilities inherent with his position in C&E are more than just maintaining a DEI(Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion)-type office. He thinks that the point of the office is to strengthen the school community, doing everything in its power to maintain the past traditions that give the school its individuality and character, while addressing some of the more distasteful aspects of our history in a healthy manner. While DEI is important in his eyes, it strengthens only some branches of the community rather than the greater student body. DaSilva also supports the doctrine of optional meetings, saying that he thinks making events mandatory only drives the students away from actually wanting to participate in an active SM community. When asked the prior of the two questions given to students, Mr. DaSilva had revealing answers. “I see every new student who shows up to one of these optional events as an individual success” he said. The ultimate success then, is the culmination of all of those students who choose to actively be a part of our school community. Every instance of a student choosing to go to an optional breakfast conversation (held almost every wednesday), instead of taking a sleep-in, is a major success on the part of the C&E office in his eyes. With aspirations of creating a tight-knit and connected community also come some inevitable issues. The biggest of these, in DaSilva’s eyes, is communication with the students and student leaders. “I have had multiple instances of students judging me and the office based only on rumors they heard from other students.” he claimed, illustrating the apparent disconnect between parts of the student body and the reformed office. 

These are but a few examples of different opinions, but they are varied enough to draw some conclusions from. First, there is a noticeable and undeniable lack of meaningful communication between the C&E office and its critics amongst the students. This has led to a number of misunderstandings and failings on both sides, and must be addressed no matter what direction the office goes towards in the future. Another conclusion that can be drawn from the polled opinions is that most students actively want to have those conversations about and with the office. There is definitely a desire on both sides to reconcile the differences within the school, and strengthen our community accordingly. There are issues, of course, with the current relationship between the department and population of the school, but these issues can be solved, and a solution is being worked towards. St. Mark’s is onto a good start, with both parties eager to talk to the other, and have meaningful discourses that will build our community into a stronger version of itself.

A Tour Around the Unseen Spaces on Campus

by andrea xu’25

Have you wondered what keeps St. Mark’s running? Do you ever wonder what the lives of the custodians and the facility staff ever are like? Who pulls the string of the heating system? Who takes care of the fire alarm? 

To answer these questions, the Exploring the Archive club toured the power plants, sewage treatment plants, and the underground tunnels on-campus on January 11th. As the founder of the club, I wanted to get a glimpse of what these publicly “invisible” spaces have to offer, and share them with the members. Though they are not what people normally think about when it comes to the school's history, sites like power plants and the underground tunnels are equally essential to the operation of the school. 

I contacted the Director of Facilities, Ms. Mullin, to schedule a tour beforehand. In addition to Ms. Mullin, I was joined by Mr. Lyons, who is the advisor of the club, and Mr. Capenito, who works in the facilities. For a plumber like Mr. Capenito, his working hours span from 6 AM to 2 PM in the afternoon. All workers are on a rotating on-call schedule to address emergencies. Custodians have extra hours: in addition to the standard 6-2 schedule is the night shift. 

Across the School Street is the facility house: Mauro’s grounds building, named after the Mauros. Mauro is a familiar name to many St. Markers because we all go to Mauro’s Village Cafe. The Mauro family is a prominent local family in Southborough and served in the town for over a hundred years. For instance, two Mauros were the chiefs of the Southborough fire department. 

The first stop was the sewage treatment. Surprisingly, the smell was not as bad as I thought. This is because the school partners with an outside company that uses micro-bacteria to process solids. According to Ms. Mullin and Mr. Capenito, St. Mark’s gets its water from the Southborough water, which pulls from the Quabbin reservoir. Within the school are multiple water filters. 

According to Mr. Carpenito, the school gets its power from the National Grid. However, because the school owns the solar farm, which collects electricity for the NSTAR (a utility company in Massachusetts), the school also gets a discount from the National Grid. 

The heating system mostly relies on manual management. Certain areas in the school, such as the STEM building, the Putnam Family Arts Center, and the new building have their own Building and Management system (B&M), which is monitored on the computers. In contrast, the main building is much more challenging to manage because it is too old to get updated with a new heating system. For those of us who live in the building all yearlong, the white pipes overhanging the hallways in the main building are fiberglass, which is used to improve insulation in the building. Mr. Capenito had visited other boarding schools in the region, such as Deerfield and Groton. He claims that these schools have similar gas and oil systems as us, but some are a little more updated.

Most St. Markers find the fire alarm a nuisance. Mr. Capenito elaborates that most of these fire alarms are called trouble alarms (instead of emergency alarms), which are often triggered by faulty sensors. Thankfully, the fire alarms are sub-panel installations. This means that, for example, if an alarm was triggered in the Theriot House, it would only ring in T-house and the alarm would not reach the rest of the school. 

After visiting the sewage treatments, we walked across the street to the power plants house, lying adjacent to the Health Services cottage. In 2007, St. Mark's updated its power plants to meet Massachusetts' environmental laws and make them more efficient. The power is converted either to run on oil or natural gas — for the past six years, the school primarily ran on gas because the price of gas was lower than that of oil. Mr. Capenito is proud that the school is aware of its carbon footprint in aligning with state’s requirements in order to limit pollution and toxins to be released into the air. 

Coming back to the issue of insulation and heating in the main building, Mr. Capenito pointed out that the insulation is very outdated. Hot water circulation, for example, is a perennial problem for those residing in Main. Because the building is old and its pipings are not equipped to meet the high demand of the building to run, it is hard to satisfy all the occupants in the building efficiently. Therefore, Mr. Capenito and his colleagues proposed adding circulation pumps throughout the building. Another strategy he uses to improve circulation is to give the shower heads lower flows: the standard water flow is 3.5 gallons per minute, whereas the shower flow in Main is 1.25 gallons per minute. 

In the past, when the school boilers ran on burning coal, an alternative to detention or other punishments was picking out slates. This means that students had to pick out piles of coal pieces because the coals did not burn sometimes. It was a long tradition— it was abolished in the early 2000s. Some older faculty like Mr. Warren certainly knows. Though St. Mark’s stopped using coal way before the 2000s, St. Mark’s had kept the term as a way to describe punishment for students. He added that “this was a very tedious and dirty job!” The labor could also be sharp and dangerous. 

After a walkthrough of the power plants, a covert path brought us to the underground tunnels. Holdovers filmed many scenes in the tunnel - where the kids fought and chased each other around in the school basement. 

In my follow-up conversation with Mr. Capenito, he recalled that when he worked on the attic above Gaccon one day, he found an old newspaper from around 1912 that reported the sinking of the Titanic. He found it on the wall with stuffed newspapers, which were used for insulation. Another time, Mr. Capenito found a vintage coke can while he was in the basement of the main building. He disclosed that the black box theater used to be a Fives (a sport similar to handball) Court. St. Mark’s had one of the five Fives courts in the country until 2001. Groton and St. Mark’s used to hold annual Fives competitions. Personally, I think these findings are not coincidental. The testaments of time and history, along these lines, show that St. Mark’s is still a quintessential boarding school. 

As a maintenance worker, his favorite part of his job was these unintentional discoveries of the school history. In his own words, “to think there were students in the same hallways in 1865 that students are walking today in 2024 is amazing!” 

Student Opinions about SDC Trials: How Should We Change it?

by Anouk Shin’26, Ian Cho’26, and Karry Kim’25

We are all familiar with the silence that fills the school meeting at the announcement of SDC. This announcement is a result of a Student Disciplinary Committee meeting, a unique process at St. Mark’s. Among the students, the SDC process is a delicate topic to address, and some recurring opinions have emerged, and are shared anonymously in this article. 

However, before having this discussion, it is important to understand the specific procedures during an SDC meeting. Most students have a general idea of the role of the SDC, yet very few understand the specifics. 

First, once the offense is done, the dean of students, the dean of academics, and the head of the school decides if an SDC hearing is appropriate for the gravity of the student’s actions. Prior to the hearing, the student writes a statement to provide insight into the event. If a faculty member was involved in the reporting of the incident, a faculty statement is also made. The statements and any other relevant materials are provided to the committee during the hearing. The head of the SDC begins the hearing by briefly outlining the process and asking the members to introduce themselves. The committee then asks various questions to the student to better understand the event, the student’s perspective, and the desire to improve. Then, the student exits. The advisor and a peer of the student each provide a character statement. Questions are asked to the advisor but not the student. Then, the advisor, peer, and the head of school exit, and the committee composed of both students and faculty discusses and narrows down to the appropriate response. Finally, an official recommendation is made by the committee, and Mr. Warren either accepts the recommendation or can modify the decision.

Once the decision is made, the committee creates three points to be shared during the all school SDC announcement. Importantly, all of the information shared during the hearing remains confidential.

(For further information, visit page 39 of the student handbook.)

In a typical 30 to 40-minute session deliberating the decision, the student and faculty committee are given the typical level of punishment that a student with a similar offense. Different student offenses are categorized into different levels of offenses, and although there are no fixed punishments for students, the handbook states that “patterns do evolve over time”. Though this categorization helps move the process more efficiently, one concern is the reliance on these categories and “patterns,” rather than a deeper understanding of the unique circumstances and context of each offense. 

Another concern is the intense pressure on the students in the SDC process. In the student testimony session, students are asked questions about their offenses. Though these questions are meant to help the committee members “clarify the circumstances and/or the student’s response to what they have done” according to the student handbook, they also put students under immense pressure, making it difficult to think clearly. An account from a student who has been in the process says that they felt “stressful, pressured, and confused,” and felt like their “mind went blank when the members started asking questions”. There is a need for a better way to achieve the goals of hearing student statements, which is to gain a better understanding of the case rather than to punish the student. 

Both these topics of concern stem from the blurred purpose of the SDC hearings; less focus is given to deciding the most adequate punishment for the students. In general, the SDC process should put greater emphasis on gaining a deeper understanding of each case and to do so, there should be a more supportive and understanding environment for the students. It is also crucial to separate their punishments from the process of the SDC.

Thoughts About C and E Day

by izzy mundel’25

On January sixth, just as students came back from a long winter vacation, the St. Marks community gathered together for Community and Equity Day. A day, as the name suggests, to foster better relationships and a more inclusive environment at SM. Huddling together in the PFAC, we first listened to a panel discussion by five inspiring individuals who all strive to create more inclusivity and equity within their own communities. Each of the individuals' own individuality helped them provide St. Marks with advice that was unique to different environments and situations. Their individual positionalities allowed the community to make connections with their own lives, but also to empathize with and learn about people that may be different or have different experiences from their own. After this insightful conversation, we then split up, the student body into their respective sports teams, while the faculty stayed together, for a hands-on workshop with a purpose: to speak freely about our identities and what makes us different inside the St. Mark’s community. Being vulnerable is something that within the hustle-and-bustle environment at SM we don’t get to do a lot. It’s hard to speak openly about your own individuality and uniqueness when surrounded by a classroom full of people that you may not know individually or trust with that information. However, this is what made C and E day so thoughtful. The workshop opened up a space to be open and vulnerable with people you saw every day at athletic practices, that you hopefully do know and trust. It allowed for a comfortable discussion between people about their unique identifiers, and how that informs who they are at St. Marks. 

In general, I believe the day was a success. The panel offered interesting perspectives and advice about fostering a supportive and inclusive environment, and the workshop created a much-needed space to be vulnerable with our peers. That isn’t to say that St. Marks don’t have more work to do, it does. One day a year where the community comes together and each person shares their identity isn’t enough to create an inclusive and supportive environment all year long. It takes daily work, from the students, to the faculty, to the staff, in classrooms, in dorms, in the hallways, in the dining hall, to create an environment where people feel heard, respected, and belonged.

Opinions on Flik: New Flik Setup

by Jasmine Liu’25

Photo: Karen B. Bento featuring the St. Mark’s School dining hall

The end of the long winter break marked the beginning of numerous changes such as the new year, mid-year exams, and, unexpectedly, a new FLIK dining setup. 

Last year, the FLIKand dining hall setup largely stayed consistent. When you first walked to the FLIK kitchen, you would be greeted by the tall stacks of plates right outside the entrance to the servery. There would be a long sequence of main dishes, typically replicated to accommodate two lines for the influx of hungry teens. The left would feature a small table of dessert and breakfast options for students with gluten-free diets. The servery would feature the meal’s main dishes as well as vegetarian alternatives if applicable. At breakfast, the last section would have oatmeal with a variety of sweet toppings including chocolate chips, M&M's, and coconut sprinkles. Lunch and dinner would have pasta and sauce options in this area, accompanied by a stack of bowls. After choosing from the main options, students would proceed to the next area with the bread (different bagels and bread slices), cereals, drinks (soda, water, coffee, milk), and one or two dessert options. When students got to the dining hall, they would be able to also add options from the salad bar (or the fruit and yogurt bar at breakfast). During lunch, the soup section in the main dining area and the panini bar in the small dining hall would also be available for students to choose from.

Yet, with feedback from faculty and students, the new year brought about many changes in the FLIK setup. First, FLIK added a noodle bar to the main dining hall where students could make their own noodle dishes. The bar would have pre-boiled noodles (typically soba or lo mein) in a separate container to prevent the available noodles from getting soggy in the soup. There would be a separate section for soup, with miso soup and chicken broth being the usual options. Students can add as many toppings of green onions and tofu as they would like to the noodle dish. Chopsticks and spoons would lay next to the noodles and soup selections. Second, FLIK increased the variety of desserts available. In the past, desserts would revolve around pudding, rice krispies, dessert bars, and cookies. However, students have now been able to eat cupcakes, cheesecakes, eclairs, and other treats thanks to FLIK! Third, FLIK added a new section of snacks between the water and coffee machines, with snacks featuring goldfish, pistachios, and granola. Students could grab a plastic or paper cup nearby and simply fill the cups with these snacks to take on the go in the case of post-meal hunger.

Last and most prominently, FLIK drastically changed the setup of their previous services. First, the staff moved the gluten-free options for the main options and desserts to the room adjacent to the servery. The breads and bagels also got rearranged in fancier drawers and setups. The water machines were moved to accommodate the added snacks, while the desserts were moved to the main dining hall. The salad and soup bars also shifted around; the soups moved to the small dining hall to accommodate the location of the new noodle bar.

With these drastic changes in the FLIK setup, some students expressed their surprise. “It’s taken a while to get used to for sure,” Sam Mundel’25 remarked. Fortunately, though, many students have noted improvements in FLIK dining and dessert options. “The food is really good now!” Diana Oh’24 exclaimed, “The desserts are amazing and the quality improved for sure!” Other students also affirmed that the desserts became more “innovative”  and hoped that the quality of the treats would be consistent for the rest of the year. The tiramisu, cupcakes, and cheesecakes were common favorites among students. In fact, many students, including Vivi Tran’26, wished for tiramisu to make more frequent appearances in the dining hall. 

Students also appreciated the new noodle bar. “I really like having more dining options, especially the noodle bar.” One Fifth Form student asserted, “If I don’t like the main options for a specific day, I can always enjoy a nice bowl of noodle soup. While the noodles may not be the same as a dish you find at a ramen restaurant, the noodle bar still does the trick!” Another Third Form student added, “However, I wish [the dining hall] could have soy sauce…”  Other students  provided critique and feedback about the noodle bar. For instance, a Sixth Form student remarked that the noodles “can be a bit dry” but understood that it would be “inevitable.” Some students also wished for more variety in the available soups and noodles. “Personally, I want to have some vermicelli or udon noodles,” Crystal Hui’24 said.

The dining hall’s added snacks also got its fair share of compliments and criticisms. “I like the snacks,” Eli Zahavi’24 noted, “The goldfish is good, but I hope they can switch it up too.” Other students, such as Yejee Hwang’25, enjoyed the bagged snacks that FLIK provided sometimes during seated meals. 

Faculty also seemed to enjoy the dining hall improvements after the new year. Although faculty acknowledged the improved quality of seated meal dishes and options, some faculty still preferred to cook at home if possible: “FLIK is a good option for having a nice and convenient meal, but I try to cook at home for dinners when I don’t like what’s on the menu.”

Overall, both students and faculty have indicated that the changed setup of the FLIK dining hall was a step in the right direction and a sign of future improvements. Yet, members of the St. Mark’s community still point out some areas for further improvement. With the added Google Form in the Weekend Activity slides & QR Codes on the dining hall tables, students can directly give FLIK feedback on meals and suggest meal ideas for the future! While FLIK’s food may not always appeal to everyone’s tastes, we should all appreciate the amazing work that the FLIK staff has done daily to serve the hundreds of people in our St. Mark’s community, and we continually look forward to the improvements FLIK may offer in the future!

A Reflection on Rev. Talcott's Talk

by Laura Xia’25

During evening chapel on January 30th, Rev Talcott delivered a well-loved speech on types of relationships. The speech is based on the ideas of philosopher Martin Buber, who characterizes relationships into two broad categories: “I-thou” relationships and “I-it” relationships. In simple terms, an “I-thou” relationship is when one treats the other as a fellow human being worthy of respect whereas an “I-it” relationship is when one treats the other as a tool or means to a goal. Rev Talcott provided examples of these two types of relationships and encouraged us to reflect on and categorize our own relationships, changing or discarding the “I-it” ones and nurturing the “I-thou” ones.

Both Rev Talcott’s talk and Buber’s book I and Thou characterize “I-it” relationships as hurtful relationships. Though I agree with this idea, I find an “imbalance” relationship more hurtful than an “I-it” relationship. Buber categorizes relationships into “I-it” and “I-thou” ones because he focuses on the perspective of one person in the relationship. However, if we think of the relationship from the point of view of both parties, we come to find three types of relationships:

1. “I-thou” + “I-thou”

2. “I-it” + “I-it”

3. “I-thou” + “I-it”

The first and second types are not hurtful, although admittedly the first type is superior in that it is more long-lasting and worthy of maintaining. I think of the first type as a “friend” relationship, in which both persons value each other for what they are as a whole. We accept each other entirely, and we don’t “need” anything from each other except reciprocated love and acceptance. Since in such relationships we value each other for who we are as a being, no one can be hurt. On the other hand, the second type is a “lab partner” relationship. We engage with our lab partners for their positive qualities, whether it be a strong work ethic or good communication skills. Instead of viewing the other person as a whole being, we oftentimes simply see them as an “efficient work partner” who serves as the means for us to get a good lab grade. Although it involves “I-it” approaches, no one is hurt in a “lab partner” relationship. This is because the involved parties are both well aware that their relationship is an “I-it” one. No one expects their lab partner to care for them as a fellow person, we just want them to get the job done. So it is impossible to be hurt in a “lab partner” relationship because the scales are balanced—we equally don’t care enough about each other.

The third type of relationship, characterized by an "I-thou" relationship combined with an “I-it” one, is the hurtful one. Here, one individual has genuine care and regard for the entirety of the other, while the recipient views them solely through the lens of utility, valuing only a specific trait that is useful to them. This imbalance becomes painfully apparent when one realizes they are degraded to a mere tool in the eyes of their counterpart, rid of recognition for their intrinsic humanity. It’s like realizing that a beloved friend thinks of you as only a great lab partner who helps them get an ‘A’ in their projects.

The most hurtful part of these unbalanced relationships is the fragility of them. Should the "I-thou" individual no longer embody the trait or quality viewed as valuable by their "I-it" counterpart, the delicate equilibrium breaks, and the relationship fades as the “I-it” individual stops needing the “I-thou” individual. 

How do we stop ourselves from being harmed by an unbalanced relationship? To balance the scale, we either force more care into the “I-it” individual or take away care from the “I-thou” individual. Although both of these courses of action are hard, the latter is relatively more achievable. As an “I-it” individual in a relationship, it is hard to care more about the other person because the incentive to care more stems from wishing the other person well. If they never cared, there is no way to force more care into them. On the other hand, it is possible to strip away care from the “I-thou” individual even if the process is painful. The essence is to gradually decrease expectations for the other person and face the fact that they cannot reciprocate the care. 

Ultimately, the trick to not being hurt in a relationship is recognizing the importance of balancing the scale. And for more meaningful relationships, try to focus on the “I-thou” relationships where the other person is willing to reciprocate. 

Declining Attendance: Reassessing the Purpose of Chapel

by Lucas Jiang ‘26

Chapel is the oldest and most frequent all-school community event at St. Mark’s. However, in a mere three weeks, the dean of students office sent two all-school emails addressing the low attendance rates at morning chapel. What lies behind the dwindling participation of the longest-lasting tradition at St. Mark’s?

In an interview, Reverend Talcott observed that attendance had “always been a problem since the pandemic. Attendance at everything has been difficult,” she said, “I would say chapel attendance got worse with the pandemic and it’s hard to bring it back to where it used to be.” Reverend Talcott has been a religion teacher and chaplain for fifteen years at St. Mark’s. Since the beginning of the year, the school has taken measures to improve attendance, including merging academic and non-academic absences 

“At the beginning of the year, we tried to bring people from remote chapel into the actual Chapel. They didn’t fit. Now we definitely can bring them back, but what if students decide to come back? I guess we’ll just fail and try again next year.” 

Sleep vs. Chapel

Reverend Talcott reasons that students choose not to come to Chapel because they choose to value sleep over Chapel. “I don’t think it’s an irrational decision, but I do agree with the dean’s office that Chapel is a critical part of the St. Mark’s experience,” she comments.

Indeed, morning Chapel starts at 8 AM on Tuesdays and Fridays and most students have expressed that it can be difficult to wake up. Especially during cold winter mornings, leaving the bed and attending Chapel poses a daunting task to all. Many students have reported missing Chapel because of oversleeping or staying up the night before. As Howie Shi ‘26 recalls: “I just missed Chapel yesterday because I overslept, but that was the only time this year.”

Lack of interest

Yet when asked, “Would you attend Chapel more if it was moved to a later part of the day,” the majority of students answered no. In a survey asking students to rate Chapel on a scale of one to ten, an average of 7.1 was recorded with the lowest being 4.5 and the highest being 9. Interviewees who gave lower-than-average ratings answered that they did not see the purpose of Chapel. On the other hand, interviewees who gave higher than average ratings said that Chapel, especially the three minutes of silence, prepared them for the day ahead. 

When asked about the purpose of Chapel, Reverend Talcott mentioned Chapel talks. “We think your Chapel talk is your gift to the community; your graduation gift to the community that has raised you for three or four years… It really is that same thing: the bearing of culture, from the older to the younger students.” Currently, the waiting list for Chapel talk sign-up has exceeded records in past years. However, despite the eagerness of sixth formers to give Chapel talks, not everyone finds them meaningful. “Sometimes it gets repetitive,” says an anonymous fifth former. Certain themes can become monotonous when mentioned repeatedly, especially to those who have been at this school for years. Nonetheless, many interviewees marked Chapel talks as their favorite or second favorite part of Chapel.

Religion

St. Mark’s is a religious center of an Episcopal school that has a widely diverse student body. As such, it is difficult to balance the needs of different groups. Rebecca Garland ‘25, a Presbyterian, hopes that “there could be a tiny bit more of scriptures and whatnot.” On the other hand, Sherry Mi ‘26 thinks the current Chapel is a great balance of secular and religious elements. 

Of the twenty minutes in Chapel, around half of the time is for Chapel talks about personal experiences, five minutes for hymns, two minutes for prayers and readings, and three minutes for silence. Apart from traditional Christian music and prayers, Chapel also includes Buddhist, Hindi, Muslim, and Jewish texts to include all students and faculty. Reverend Talcott notes, “Chapel is here to serve you guys. I need to know who you are to craft a Chapel that is going to lift you spiritually. A pastor like me or Reverend Solter always has to be paying attention. Of course, you’re diverse so I can’t meet all of your needs all the time.” Perhaps another reason for the low attendance is that Chapel cannot meet everyone’s spiritual needs.

Conclusion

In summary, the declining attendance at St. Mark's morning Chapel reflects the allure of sleep, the disinterest in Chapel talks, and varying perceptions of religion. Despite efforts to address these issues, the fundamental question remains: what makes Chapel meaningful for each member of the community? Moving forward, dialogue and adaptation are needed to ensure that the longest-lasting tradition at St. Mark’s can cater to the changing and diverse needs of the community.

The Spectrum of 'I-Thou' and. 'I-It' Relationships

by Rachel Ding’26

After Evening Chapel on January 30th, Rev. Talcott’s sermon on the intersection between love and relationships inspired introspection into and appreciation for the relationships in our homes and at St. Mark’s. According to twentieth-century philosopher Martin Buber, our approach to any relationship—platonic, familial, or romantic—can be characterized as either “I-Thou” or “I-It.” In the preceding relationship, an individual can recognize the inherent value of the other as a whole being. Both members experience a mutual sense of connection, respect, and engagement. Conversely, an "I-It" relationship involves a more instrumental and transactional approach. An individual treats the other as an object, where one perceives the other as something to be used, manipulated, or controlled for personal gain. There's a sense of detachment and objectification, thereby leading to a superficial connection. 

At a glance, the main takeaway from the sermon seems to encourage “I-Thou” relationships and discourage “I-It” relationships. However, I encourage you to develop your own opinions before taking this as the complete truth. Ask yourself the following questions—I have included some situations that disprove what is widely accepted to sort of play devil's advocate.

1. Are there situations where approaching a relationship with a more transactional mindset (I-It) could be beneficial or pragmatic?

   a. In group projects or task-oriented collaboration, adopting an "I-It" approach with the understanding that the relationship focuses on completing tasks rather than deep personal connections might boost efficiency in achieving a common objective.

2. How do "I-It" relationships foster mutual benefit, where both parties may derive satisfaction from the exchange?

   a. In "I-It" relationships, clear expectations and boundaries are oftentimes established from the outset. Both parties understand their roles and responsibilities within the interaction, leading to more efficiency in achieving desired outcomes. By focusing on the transactional aspects of the interaction, both parties can maximize their time and resources, leading to a more productive exchange.

3. Can the exclusivity and intensity of "I-Thou" relationships inadvertently lead to feelings of isolation from other social connections?

   a. "I-Thou" relationships often require significant time, energy, and emotional investment. As individuals become deeply involved with one another, they may prioritize the needs of the other person above other social connections. Furthermore, these relationships are more exclusive, as individuals form deep connections with only a few people. While this exclusivity can strengthen the bond between individuals within the relationship, it may also inadvertently cause them to neglect or distance themselves from those not part of the inner circle. 

4. Can the depth and intensity of an "I-Thou" relationship cause emotional dependency? How do these dynamics affect your sense of autonomy within the relationship?

   a. In an "I-Thou" relationship, emotional dependency can develop when individuals rely heavily on their partner/friend to meet their emotional needs and provide a sense of security and validation. This reliance may lead to a diminished sense of self as individuals prioritize the other person's needs and interests over their own.

   b. Emotional dependency can also contribute to a loss of individual identity within the relationship. Individuals may become so immersed in their connection that they struggle to differentiate their thoughts and feelings from those of the other person. This blurring of boundaries can weaken their sense of autonomy and independence. Emotional dependency often coexists with a fear of separation or abandonment. Individuals may go to great lengths to avoid disagreement, fearing it will jeopardize their connection and lead to rejection.

At the end of the day, relationships aren't black and white. The significance of human connections lies in their complexity and diversity. While "I-Thou" relationships promote genuine connection, "I-It" relationships can serve practical purposes. We can take insight from philosophers like Martin Buber, but ultimately, how we interpret and apply these beliefs lie in our hands—our experiences shape how we navigate these relationships. By embracing the nuances of each relationship and seeing it through different perspectives, we foster interactions that transcend categorizations.

The First Gray Colloquium - Was it Different?

Anouk Shin ‘26

Gray Colloquium has been a distinctly St. Mark’s event for many years, each year bringing a new topic for speakers to discuss. This year’s first was Dino Ambrosi, a digital wellness speaker, who stood behind the microphone and gave a distinct presentation that captured the engagement of many students. 

Ambrosi’s talk was on the harms of technology on lives. Although it was a topic high school students have been lectured on many times, from Ambrosi, it felt different. “He was more of an engaging speaker,” says Erin Rasmussen ‘23, “especially compared to the speakers we had before.” Other students agreed that Ambrosi’s speech was helpful and outstanding compared to past speakers, and attributed this memorableness to his experience working with high school students. 

In particular, the diagram Ambrosi presented during his speech, depicting the remaining weeks in a lifetime and how many of those weeks would be spent on social media, seemed to have left a striking impression on many students. Rasmussen ‘23 continues, “My favorite part of the talk was the dots on the screen that showed how much of our lives were going to be spent on our phones. I think that really puts it into perspective.” Howie Shi ‘26 adds that he was “very surprised” by what the diagram showed, and Yolanda Zhou ‘23 states that it prompted her to be “more aware of [her] screentime.”

Although informative and engaging, the largest part of Dino Ambrosi’s speech was the impact it had on the St. Mark’s community. Many students downloaded Clear Space, the app Ambrosi recommended in his presentation, and found it effective: “I downloaded the app that [Ambrosi] talked about, Clear Space. I use it on my Instagram, and my Instagram usage went down, like, a lot. I barely even use it anymore. I don’t scroll either,” says Seoyeon Kim ‘26. Zhou speaks of a similar experience, stating, “I’ve downloaded [Clear Space] and I’ve been using it. It’s been pretty helpful.”

Furthermore, the impact of Ambrosi’s speech went beyond students. The voluntary “No Cellphone Wednesday” was inspired by his speech, and was implemented almost immediately after the talk. It encouraged St. Markers to experience a school day with no screen time. 

Dino Ambrosi set the Gray Colloquium series off to a great start this year. The messages of his talk and the positive impacts he made on St. Mark’s will resonate with many students, reminding us to not have the remaining weeks of our lives snatched away by mindless scrolling.