Looking Forward: Reflections From Freshman Year Under The Pandemic

By Steven Zhang’24

A warm blanket of sun hits my back as I hop out of the pool. The poking sensation in my eyes as my hair drapes over my face like curtains on a windowsill feels oddly tantalizing. I shake some loose water off, and I walk towards the mountain of athletic bags. The slaps of my wet feet on the concrete quickly assimilate with the rest of my Cross Country teammates. The satisfying and tiring water workout at the St. Mark’s outdoor pool had emptied everything in my stomach, leaving me with an empty cavern for its replacement. I snag my shirt and swing around gates and corners, laughing and running with my friends to the changing room. 

I remember standing in front of the kitchen tables, entranced by the emptiness of the tables. The dividers were gone. Last year for COVID, we had set up large, looming dividers that separated every seat from the next. Every time you had something to say, you would either stand over or lean around dividers or simply not talk. The biggest hassle didn’t just come from the inconvenience of chatting, but also the struggle of staying sane as all you could hear was the ringing conversations of other tables. For most freshmen like me, last year had become even harder to make friends and strike up conversations. Every time you sat down and pulled out your chair, you were welcomed into a headspace of both simultaneously painful silence and outside noise. Talking to your friends became a workout. You would be on the brink of falling off the chair, your body facing one direction and your head twisting 90 degrees to the right or left. It was mentally and physically challenging to just not accidentally twist too much and fall off your chair in front of many students. 

But that wasn’t even the worst part. Last year we couldn’t even walk straight from one classroom to another across the hallway. Line dividers existed in every hallway. Every time you wanted to switch a direction without making the person behind bump into you, you had to walk the whole distance and then back. Quite frankly, all this was profusely irritating and tiring. 

It was a pain to sit down at tables knowing very well that the conversations were going to be at a minimum and going to be very mundane, but at least we could be there. Currently, we don’t have the pesky line dividers in the hallways or the towering dining table dividers. I am glad that we were able to push through a tough school year and give ourselves a reward for finally facilitating the process of being at school. Tables are suddenly filled with bustling students, conversations are heard from every corner of school, and sports games are finally hosted. I am very glad to finally be able to maybe have a normal year. I think appreciation should not come from what we will have, but simply what we have now. 

Reflecting on Freshman Year

BY Yoonjeong Yang ‘24

Time has flown by so fast, and along the way, we have built memories that will remain deep in our hearts. Although the pandemic has made school life starkly different from what we had looked forward to, St. Mark’s has done its best to provide freshmen with unique and exhilarating experiences. As it is the time for students to remove the freshman label, students need to reflect on their freshman year, reflecting on what it meant and how they grew to prepare for the sophomore year. I would like to share my journey at St.Marks and how the community has influenced my identity in the hopes of inspiring incoming third-formers. 

I experienced a significant change after moving to St.Marks. At the start of the year, I was apprehensive about how people would judge me due to the racism I experienced when I was younger. The memories of those experiences still haunt me. While I initially struggled to adapt to a new culture and social milieu, it was a pleasant surprise that people at St.Marks were sensitive and receptive. I strove to reach out to people with different backgrounds and diverse student groups, expressing my true self while listening to other people’s stories. My goal was to extend my empathy and compassion. Through these meaningful experiences, I was able to form deep and lasting friendships at St.Mark’s that will persist long after high school. Here is the lesson of my story: no matter how tumultuous my inner conflicts are, when we surround ourselves with non-judgemental, supportive people and maintain a willingness to learn from others, we will eventually reach the ultimate destination of self-acceptance and self-appreciation. 

School life was not as easy as I thought it would be. There isn't a specific word that can accurately describe my freshman year because there is simply too much to express with just one word. The year was filled with regrets, failures, and mistakes, but it was also about growth, success, and maturity in retrospect. I did not have a dream or a plan, and I was the student who simply envied others. However, I began to try new things, things I never would have thought of trying. I started by joining new clubs like St. Marker, Students for Sustainability, Women in Stem, Model United Nations, and Academic Peer Tutors. Consequently, I expanded my boundaries and began to challenge myself every day to try unfamiliar pursuits, despite my fear of failure. Dreams of the future no longer held a significant meaning for me because I realized that I was too young to care too much about what we would be. If someone asks me what I want to be in a year or few years, I would simply reply that I want to be my best friends’ laughter, parents’ warmth, and my own haven. And I came to this realization during my year as a freshman. 

If there is one piece of advice I would like to give to incoming third-formers, I would tell them not to hesitate. We should continue to step out of our comfort zones by reaching out to people of different backgrounds and exploring new things in our community. These are the principles I learned during the past year. I’m sure all the other freshmen can relate: the year has been full of regret and excitement. Although this academic year has been highly unusual with the pandemic, we should remember that freshman year was about finding ourselves. If we can remember this, we will be one step closer to a successful sophomore year. As freshman year was about understanding myself, I hope to accomplish during the sophomore year to inspire and motivate the people in our community and listen to the colorful stories of others. We should all be grateful for our pandemic-shortened yet precious freshman year and cherish these memories forever.