By Yevheniia Dubrova ‘20
We should give, and give, and give until we have nothing left to give. And then give some more.
I sometimes wonder how many people impacted my life without me realizing that they have been shaping it all along. I spent hours thinking about the proper way to start this piece. Describe Mr. Umiker’s contribution to St. Mark’s community? Can I really fit everything into words? Begin with the best wishes for the next part of his journey? Well, I’ve always been bad at saying goodbyes, and starting with one didn’t seem like the best way to go. I could hardly write anything from a student’s perspective since I didn’t have a chance to get to know Mr. Umiker in the classroom, which might be the only reason I’ll ever regret not taking advanced-level math courses. In fact, we only ever saw each other in the hallways, dining hall lines, or on squash courts during the winter season — him coaching thirds boys team, and me attempting to hit the ball with a racquet. And yet a couple of weeks ago, I found myself tearing up at his farewell video-message to the school community and realizing that I had many reasons to be thankful to Mr. Umiker for things arguably more important than tips on solving multivariable calculus problems.
Some days, it meant the world to me to simply see his infectious and welcoming smile whenever we greeted each other on campus. Always composed and soft-spoken, Mr. Umiker made me marvel at his ability to radiate kindness and wisdom so much so that I often fought the urge to come up to him and yell, “BUT HOW DO YOU DO IT?” And then I heard him say it out loud: “When you have nothing left to give, you find a way to dig deep and give more.” Four decades of service and dedication to this community, four decades of always giving more is a gift that will stay with St. Mark’s even after Mr. Umiker and his family leave campus this year. It will forever be engraved in the walls of this school and in the memories of people who were lucky enough to witness it. It is a gift that every one of us, student or adult, has been granted. I will carry it close to my heart, and for this, I will always be indebted to Mr. Umiker. I truly hope that we were able to repay him, at least in part, for everything that he has given to this place. Wherever he goes next, I hope that our gratitude and love follows him and his family.
Cathy Zhou asked Mr. Umiker about his experience at St. Mark’s and plans for the future:
I know it was a long time ago, but how did you decide to come to SM?
During my senior year in college, I had begun to explore becoming an actuary and I interviewed with an insurance company. Meanwhile, I was dating someone (five years later she became Mrs. Umiker) who was exploring education. She saw an advertisement for teaching internships at St. Mark’s and suggested that I apply. It was my very first job offer and promised just one year contract that included teaching experience, room, board and a stipend. It seemed an ideal way to put off the decision of what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Were there any significant changes during your time at SM?
There have been many significant changes, though you will find that as you age, such things are hard to measure well. There have been gradual but significant changes in my relationship with the school, so my perspectives have kept changing. In retrospect though, the school in the seventies was a boys’ school unsure of its decision to become a coed school. As a young teacher, I completely underestimated the significance of that challenge.
I therefore point to the progress that we have made in making St. Mark’s a more equally welcoming and nurturing community with far reduced obstacles related to differences in gender and other identities. Maintaining equity in a community is an ongoing struggle, especially perhaps in a school community that has by its nature, a high turnover of constituents. Most people in the 70’s did not understand that in anything like the terms we do today. The difference has come through the very gradual acceptance by the governors, teachers and learners, that this is a goal we must vigilantly assess as a critical complement to that of academic excellence.
Are there any interesting or funny stories that you wish to share?
I once shared a third floor classroom with Mr. Dolesh. At the time, we were among the last teachers who were fairly regularly playing fives. The last of the courts were located where we now have the black-box theater. Mr. Dolesh and I found ourselves in a friendly disagreement as to how to arrange the classroom. As I recall, I wanted a wall behind me with the maximum board space and he preferred having the class face the wall opposite the windows. I suggested that we should stick with a particular arrangement for a week based on which of us could win a round of singles competition on the courts. It has always been great fun to spar with Mr. Dolesh and this had the added incentive of a side bet with visible consequences. Even better: I don’t remember ever having to rearrange the classroom after my initial victory.
What’s your favorite part of your daily routine at SM?
Any interaction with students or colleagues in which creative thinking is exchanged. It probably happens most in the classroom, but it can happen anywhere. When people show signs of learning to think, transcending the exercises to find meaning, transcending the push-ups to become athletes, those are the moments that bring true rewards in teaching. It doesn’t happen every day, but the routine at St. Mark’s improves the chances of it happening in a variety of experiences.
What are some of your most memorable moments at SM?
Learning to coach, and reaching some success in that venture particularly in cross country. I took over a team that had just gained varsity status in the 70’s and built it to championship status over a ten year period.
Watching my young children play with students in the dormitory hallways in Marr/Coolidge.
Running through the “veil of discretion”. That refers to actual runs with a very close friend during which we recognized our mutual needs for physical and emotional distance from school.
Being a teacher in my childrens’ school and allowing them to have their school in a place where their parents work. Stepping up to the role of Assistant Head for 9 years.
What are your plans for the future?
We will live in Randolph, NH, a small town just to the north of the White Mountains. We expect to hike in the mountains, bicycle along the rail trails, and get good looks at the vast variety of birds in the area. We will look for opportunities to contribute to the community as well, perhaps serving on town committees.
Mrs. Umiker, Mr. Umiker, and Bella
