Bathroom Ranking at St. Mark's

by Aiden Lee ‘28 & Anouk Shin ‘26

Bathroom Ranking—The Top 5 and Other Thoughts

If there’s one campus opinion that cuts across grades and friend groups, it’s this: the PFAC stalls are the best bathrooms at St. Mark’s. They’re big, quiet, and consistently clean—almost suspiciously so. You don’t rush in there; you stroll. The only drawback is the location. If PFAC isn’t on your schedule, it’s a bit of a hike, but the calm is worth the detour. For people who prefer a locked door to rows of stalls, the PFAC single is the easy second-place pick. It’s roomy, the air circulates well, and it’s rarely occupied. If your day already runs through PFAC, this one quickly becomes your default.

Third place goes to the Admissions single, which feels like it’s been staged for a campus tour at all times. Ventilation is good, the surfaces look new, and nothing seems out of place. Still, it’s a risky choice at lunch, when the door is often locked—and even when it’s open, you’ll hear the handle jiggle every few minutes. Fourth is the “secret” bathroom near Dr. Hill’s office. It’s tucked under a staircase and smaller than you’d like, but the place is spotless and oddly peaceful, with a light floral smell that makes it feel like a deliberate hideout rather than an afterthought. Rounding out the list is the STEM basement single. It has one thing most singles don’t have—space—but it can’t shake a middling smell and average upkeep. It’s the stop you choose when you need room more than ambience.

The practical takeaway is simple: if you want the best stall experience, go to PFAC. If you want privacy, use the PFAC single. If you want polish, try Admissions and accept the gamble. If you want quiet, find Dr. Hill’s alcove. And if you want space in a hurry, the STEM basement will get the job done. Avoid the FPR single unless convenience outweighs every other factor.

Bathroom	Accessibility	Space	Business	Smell	Overall Cleanliness
STEM Basement Bathroom (Single)	4/5 Easy to get to if you have class in the STEM basement, and if you’re getting a snack from the bookstore. It's a little awkward because it’s right by some offices.	6/5 Stellar space. Wide and comfortable, with great lighting. You could probably film a TikTok or two.	4/5 Not many classrooms = Not many people here.	2/5 It could definitely be better. Probably due to the lack of windows.	3/5 Not bad, but not great either. There’s always toilet paper on the floor.
PFAC (Single Bathrooms)	3/5 Easy if you have classes in PFAC. You wouldn’t go there otherwise.	4/5 Illusion of a smaller space due to the absence of windows, but still a single—plenty of room.	5/5 Pretty much always open, as not many students take classes in PFAC.	4/5 Not taken care of often, but not bad. Kinda stale sometimes.	4/5 Nothing glaringly off about the cleanliness.
Admissions Bathroom (Single)	2/5 Not easy to get to, even if you have class on STEM 1, the English Wing, or the Library. Only easy access during lunch.	5/5 Nice single bathroom with plenty of wiggle room.	2/5 Always locked during lunch and seated meals. Except someone rattles the doorknob every 5 minutes.	5/5 Well-ventilated, air fresheners.	5/5 Right next to the admissions parlor…so it’s always kept squeaky clean for visitors and prospective students.
Secret Bathroom by Dr. Hill’s Office (Single)	1/5 Unless you’re Dr. Hills… why would you find yourself here?	2/5 A little larger than airplane bathrooms. Most likely because it's under a staircase.	5/5 Again, no one should be here…	5/5 Smells like flowers.	5/5 Well kept and super fancy. Kind of Victorian, too.
FPR Bathrooms (Single)	3/5 Ideal if you’re a girl taking a class on STEM 2 (and you don’t feel like climbing stairs). A little tucked away otherwise.	6/5 Extremely large for a single bathroom. Lots of free space.	3/5 Faculty meetings in the FPR clog this one. Otherwise, tolerably busy.	0/5 Smells like stale sweat and other stuff. Also, somehow it is always too hot.	2/5 Not the worst, but not the best.
STEM 1 (Stalls)	4/5 Good location if you have classes in STEM. A tiny bit far if you are in one of the big science classrooms down the hall.	3/5 Standard stall. Nothing too special.	3/5 Not too busy, as it’s most used during a class period.	3/5 No flowery scents, but nothing too glaringly bad either.	3/5 Not too bad. The occasional unflushed toilet.
STEM 2 (Stalls)	3/5 If you’re a boy taking class on STEM 2 or STEM 1, or STEM 3 (and you enjoy stairs), this is a good location for you	3/5 Standard stall. Nothing too special.	3/5 Not too busy.	3/5 Nothing too bad.	3/5 Occasional unflushed toilet.
STEM 3 (Stalls)	5/5 Very handy if you’re a girl.	3/5 Standard stall.	3/5 Not too busy.	3/5 Nothing too bad.	3/5 Occasional unflushed toilet.
PFAC (Stalls)	3/5 Not easy to get to unless you’re in music.	7/5 Jaw-droppingly large space, huge mirrors.	5/5 Not busy at all, since it’s just reserved for the music students.	5/5 Smells like absolutely nothing. Great.	5/5 Always clean, because lots of important events are hosted in the PFAC.
Burnett House (Stalls)	4/5 Pretty easy to get to if you’re hanging out in the area.	3/5 Nothing special. Standard stalls.	1/5 Always busy. Not great for emergencies.	2/5 Could be better, but not the worst.	2/5 Not that great overall.
Spanish Bathrooms in Library Basement (Stalls)	3.5/5 Good if you’re a Spanish student or hanging out/studying in the library.	3/5 Kind of cramped. On par with the STEM stalls.	4/5 Not busy at all, reserved for Spanish students.	2/5 A little stale. Basement-like smells overall.	3/5 Not bad. Again, on par with the STEM stalls.
Faculty Delivery bathroom (Stalls)	1/5 Really hidden. You canonically discover this in your sophomore year, after not knowing its existence for months.	3/5 Standard stall. Not bad.	1/5 Even though it’s hidden away, it's pretty busy during lunch, as it’s where people go when the Admissions Bathrooms are both taken.	4/5 Surprisingly not bad for a space hidden away in the basement.	3/5 Comparable to the STEM Stalls. Not too bad.
Black Box Green Room Bathroom (Stalls)	2/5 Kind of hidden away. You would probably need to be shown where it is if you’ve never been to this part of PFAC.	3/5 Standard stall. Gets a little cramped if you’re in the theater and the entire cast is trying to change in this bathroom at once.	2.5/5 Not that busy, unless it’s Neon or a play.	3/5 Standard smell. A little stale.	4/5 Pretty good.
PFAC Second Floor Bathroom (Stall)	1/5 Not known to many, unless you practice in the PFAC on the regular.	5/5 On par with the PFAC First Floor stalls. Super spacious with a large mirror.	6/5 Not busy at all. Hardly anyone here.	5/5 Really good.	5/5 Really good. Extra points because there’s warm water for instrumentalists in the winter.
PFAC Second Floor Bathroom (Single, down studio hallway).	0/5 Do people even know this exists?	4/5 On par with the PFAC First Floor single bathroom. Plenty of room.	N/A I don’t frequent here—not sure how busy it gets.	4/5 Nothing outstandingly bad.	4/5 Pretty good.